Day 18 of our adoption journey

As I stated in an earlier post one of the things I am doing a lot of is personal devotion and mediation upon the Word of God.  Each day he is continuing a theme with me, which is trust, and I must say I have had to ask God to forgive me for my worry which shows a complete lack of trust and faith because trust in God is what he wants and expects.  When we sit and worry over things or allow the cares of this world to rob of us our trust and faith, then this becomes sin and God is not pleased with it.  So today I will take the verses “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you (1 Peter 5:6-7 KJV).  According to Barnes he feels Peter is using scripture from Psalms 55:22 there the Psalmist wrote “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved” (Psa 55:22 KJV). 

To me it does not matter whether it was Peter or the Psalmist who wrote it what matters is that we need to cast all of our cares, our problems our clouds of doubt upon God.  When we don’t know what to do, we need to cast our cares upon God.  When we are scared, afraid or confused we need to bow down and cast all of our cares on the Lord.  We need to bring it to his feet, lay it down and let him handle it.  That is true faith, when we can lay it down at His feet and walk away from it and leave it there to allow Him to handle it in his time according to His will.  That is what God ask of us, ultimate trust and faith in him.

A couple of days ago there was a car pulled in front of the Hotel and the driver blew the horn.  This is normally the way the taxi drivers do, and we walked out and got into the back seat of the car and he took off.  Kathy turned to me and said “you know we are awful trusting.”  My Reply is yes this is how we trust God to take care of us.  He is putting us in the hands of those he knows will take care of us as we travel each day from the hotel to the facility where “H” is and back. We have met several of the drivers and each one of is very friendly and courteous.  But the ones from the village “H” lives are the ones we like the most.  Their driving is much slower, their cabs are cleaner and they are much more friendly, one of them even gets out and shakes our hand and helps us in.  When we arrive back at the hotel he does the same thing, helps us out and shakes our hands.  “If His eye is on the sparrow then I KNOW He is watching over me!”

This morning I had to go down to the market place and while I was there I wanted to try and find a coloring book and colors for “H”.  However, when I walked in there was several books on his level that was used to teach children his age English.  WOW Now isn’t the God we server just WONDERFUL that he would lead me to the one store in the entire market place and village that had something I really needed! Praise His Name! 

Again today we had another wonderful time and visit with “H”.  Each day after he comes in and we say our hello’s and get our hugs then he always wants to know if we brought his computer (NABI).  We tell him yes and he can play with it after we work on the ASL Signs.  The book I found earlier this morning was a huge success.  We are getting “H” to see the word in his language and then see the same thing in the English Language and then we teach him the American Sign finger spelling and then the sign.  He is getting there and we knew going in this would be a slow process.  There is an older student there that “H” looks up to and enjoys being around.  We asked the Assistant director that has been helping us if this young man could help “H” learn this ASL alphabet.  He and another student both stepped up and have agreed to help “H” with this. 

We know when we get him home things will be different and we are trying as much as we can now to prepare him so he will not be totally lost and confused.  “H” is doing a wonderful job and we are so very proud of him.  We just can’t wait for the day when we can finally go to the facility and take him with us as our Son!  Again as were are trying to do every day this is our daily photo together. 

Day 17 of our adoption journey

For whatever reason neither Kathy nor me rested well last night but we are glad to be here.  Each day that we get to spend with “H” is a gift from God.  We look back over the past 16 months and see just how far God has brought us and we realize just how truly blessed we are but also just knowing how God has worked things out according to his plan never ceases to amaze us.  “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not” (Jeremiah 33:3 KJV).   

Believe it or not when we are at the facility we feel more comfortable because we can at least communicate with them, not through the spoken language but through sign language, really is nice to have that skill.  But I am also finding that many of the signs I have learned through my Uncle and other deaf friends are being changed to a newer sign.  So I am having to go back and learn some of the newer signs as well because I don’t want to teach “H” a sign that is wrong or has been changed.

Kathy and I both saw something in his eyes, today a light bulb began to come on and “H” is beginning to understand our alphabet is different and the letters that look the same may have a different sound.  We have an ABC book that show the words in his language and also in the American language.  This is helping him because I am asking him to look at the work in his language then at the English word.  And relate the alphabet to the correct word.  We cover the ABC every day but it was today we saw a light of understanding.  We praised him each time he got one correct and he was thrilled with that.  So after our hour of language lessons we allowed him his computer game time. 

 

Today we also learned that everything has been approved by the local State Department of Adoptions and the Country’s State Department of Adoptions.  This means our court date for Tuesday is all set now and our facilitator is working to get everything done on Tuesday.  Please help us pray that we can get everything done on Tuesday as for as court and that “WE GET APPROVED!!!”  Then the countdown begins.

Day 16 of our adoption journey

Well today is Wednesday May 29, 2013 and it is 7:53 PM and the sun is still up and bright.  The guys working outside of our hotel window have been at it for over 12 hours now and they are still going strong.  It will get dark here finally around 9:00 PM or a little after but the sun comes up at between 4:00 AM and 4:30AM and they do not believe in thick curtains here so we are finding it hard to sleep after 4:30 AM.  From that point on we are just cat napping but we are still thankful to be here and to be able spend time with “H” each day. 

Today our taxi was late getting here but still we got to spent 2 ½ hours with him as we do every day which is the highlight of our day.  He is getting so excited about going with us and I will get a great satisfaction the day we finally get to take him with us.  We are praying that nothing will stand in our way and counting down the days till our court next Tuesday June 4^th.  It has been a long journey but here we are now just days from our court for the adoption.  

There were many of his friends that came over when they saw us there today.  It has been kind of cool in the recent days so we tried to stay indoors with him so he would not get sick.  But for the last two days it has been so nice that we have stayed outside on the benches.  He enjoys it there and runs to them and waits for us to catch up.  I told Kathy if I continue like this I will be in great shape before the summer is over because this little guy is fast and he is learning fast.  Every day when we arrive we go over the ABC in the American Sign Language.  We then go over some of the very basic signs he will need to know to communicate to us when he is hungry, thirsty or sick or hurting.  We have also been working on the family relationship sigs like daddy, momma, brother, sister, aunt uncle, grandmother, grandfather and niece and nephew.  Also some that he will need to know about hungry, thirsty, eat, food, wash, bed, clothes and some other basic signs. As I have mentioned several times before he is a very intelligent young man and he is learning very fast.  And we are so blessed that we can be with him each day and are looking forward to that day we can finally call him our Son.

Proverbs 3:5 (KJV)
⁵ Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

We need to Trust in God with ALL OUR HEARTS!!! Not 90% not 99.5% but 100% God expects nothing less.

Day 15 of our adoption journey

Day 15

We hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend, I would have enjoyed being home and possibly grilling but we are still here in Eastern Europe.  I thought of my Dad yesterday and how much I miss him.  He was in the Korean War and so was Kathy’s Dad and we are so proud of them and the many other men and women in our lives that have served our country.  We solute you and thank you and we thank God for You.

As I told many people I planned to do a good bit of studying of God’s Word in personally devotion time.  Well I will tell you when you study and meditate upon God and His Word He will show you great and wonderful things and he will give you peace and great joy.  As I have been studying this past week there has something that God had been helping me with and that is total trust in him.  So many times we can let worry creep which causes our human trust factor to decrease.  God is not pleased with this what he wants from us is complete and total trust and I am constantly reminded of one of my favorite passages; “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish.  Thou shalt seek them, and shalt not find them, even them that contended with thee: they that war against thee shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought. For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee” (Isaiah 41:10-13 KJV).

Each day we spend with “H” our hearts bond with him deeper and deeper and when the time comes to say good bye, it is gets harder and harder.  When I hug him and he hugs back it is so wonderful I just can’t explain it but now I am seeing this is just what God did for me.  He pursued me and loved me until the day I accepted him just as “H” has us as his parents.  We must accept God and His Son for the adoption to be completed.  Then when we do we become a child of God, what a grand design.  WOW!!! Praise His Name!

Yesterday we spent four hours with “H” we are learning his sign language and he is learning the American Sign Language (ASL).  He is learning quite fast but we are trying to keep it simple and to the basics for right now because we do not want to overload him.  It is going to be enough of an adjustment for him now but we will work with him each day so the transition will be easier.    Please pray for us because our court day is next Tuesday June 4^th and this district likes to make two sessions out of it. Our Facilitator is working now to see if he can get both session done next Tuesday so we are praying to God for this and we would appreciate your prayers as well.

We are posting a picture here for each of you to see this is us with our hope to be son. 

Day 12 of our adoption journey

Day 12

Yesterday I miscalculated my days and Kathy corrected me so here we are at day 12.  Yesterday morning I did my walk back to town to the Bank and then to the grocery store.  Believe it or not you can find some of the same things here you can at home.  Recently while shopping I looked down and saw Nutella which we get at home and the children love it.  Of course Poppa likes it to on bread and Brandy also mixes it with Cool Whip to make a delicious pie. 

It is Saturday night here and again they is a party going on down stars, and just let me tell you they only know one setting and that is LOUD.  And it goes on until about 11:00 PM.  So we just plug a movie in the Laptop and shut the window and turn up the volume so we can hear.  Helps also if you turn on the Closed Caption.  They had a party last night also so Kathy and I are beginning to wonder if this is not party central because they love to party and enjoy celebrating birthdays, weddings and this weekend must be the celebration that school is out.  But we are finding out the people are very friendly.  They understand we do not speak their language or they our but we are finding ways to communicate that is working quite well.  For one thing, we save one of the tickets from a meal we both loved and today we just pulled the ticket out again and showed it to them and they understood.

I am importing three images of some of the food we are eating.  This one is my favorite it is chicken that has been flatten battered and fried with fried potatoes. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next picture is of a bean soup that facilitator recommended and Kathy loves it. It is server in a bread bowl.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this is a favorite of both of ours.  Not just here but at home as well DELICIOUS!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today we had another GREAT time with “H” and he is a true delight to be with and we are just amazed at how fast he is learning the ASL.  Signing is one thing but learning to write in English will be a bridge we will cross when we are home.  Our daughter has many flash cards that we can use to help him.  We have also learned very quickly that his computer time will have to be limited because when he has his NABI he zones out, and the learning for the day is over.  So in many way he is just your typical child that has a most wonderful sense of humor.

He has been asking one of the Directors when we were going to take him to America.  We typed up a document of the steps that we have to take and how long in the process each step takes based on what we know.  After I had it typed and checked I sent it through Microsoft to have it translated into their language and loaded it on my Android PAD and she was able to read it and understand.  Then she helped us by explaining it to “H” so he could understand which he did. We know that God is in control of it all and we are just praying that out court date is next week or the first week in June. 

Love to all and we miss you so much

Rev. Ben and Kathy Dailey

Week 2 of our adoption journey

Day Nine

To God Be the Glory, Great things he has done.  Yesterday we had to go before the SDA board in the region that “H” is in.  This board represents all of the Social Workers in the District (county).  They have reviewed our case and the only question they wanted to know is why did we look for a child in the Ukraine?  Our response was, actually we were not looking but one day while I was doing research for a paper I was writing for class for my deaf mission paper I ran across a site and listed deaf orphans all over the world but this one little boy stood out me and God laid him on my heart.  Finally I told Kathy about him and she ask me what I was waiting on that we needed to do this and it was at Christmas and so we prayed about it and took the money for our own presents to each other and made our initial deposit to get the process started.  They were evidently pleased and they all voted 100% to allow us to proceed with the adoption.

The next thing we are trying to do is to get a court date.  We are hoping it will be next week but is could be the first week in June before we go before the Judge.  But each day we get to spend about 2 to three hours with “H” and we are finding out he is a very intelligent and a fast learner.  One of the teachers there has been working with us every day to help us learn their sign language so we can help “H” transition easier to ASL (American Sign Language).  Yesterday we discovered something else about “H”, he has a great sense of humor.  He really made Kathy and me laugh and again today.  He is working hard but as a young boy will do he gets tired and wants to play with his NABI.  So as a reward after our learning time is over he gets to play with his NABI.  This is a Motorola Android PAD that has a parent side and a child side.  He likes the games especially Angry Bird. 

 Day Ten

Today we as another very productive days with “H”.  “H” is how I am referring to him because that is the name we have always known him by; however, it was an alias name used by the ministry website to protect the child.  The name he goes by fits him and his personality must better and so we have chosen to keep this name for him as his middle and called name, but for now we will refer to him as “H”.  After the court and we have him in our custody we can release his real name and a picture of all of us. 

Today I had Kathy working with him more because she will be with him more when I am at work and if she does not start learning now it will be harder on her when we get home.  So today it was Momma and “H” working together on things like telling momma that “H” is sick, hungry or thirsty.  And how momma would say that “H”’s hand were dirty or face was dirty and needed to be cleaned. And that Momma would say ok now washy your face, brush your teeth put on your PJ’s and go to bed.  Things that would be said every day around the house and he is really catching on fast, but we have also discovered he really like the NABI and that we will have to limit the time he plays on it.  But that is just part of being a parent and we are looking forward to helping this young man to be the person God wants him to me.  We can’t wait for our family and friends

Love

Rev. Ben & Sis Kathy Dailey

Day 8 of our adoption journey

Day Eight

Today our facilitator left us his automobile to drive to the facility where “H” is in because he needed to take a train to the city where another family is that he is also helping.  It was nice that we were able to spend a very long time with him and his friends this afternoon.  It is amazing how much each treat the other like a brother or sister and there are some who are like natural leaders and the others listen to them and respect them.  Today just as we got there it came up a storm and “H” took us to a place where we could get out of the rain but it began to get worse and not only that it began to get cool so we decided it would be best for us to go indoors so that he would not get sick.  I took off my shirt and wrapped him up good and we made a beeline for the door.  Kathy and I got wet but think I was able to keep “H” pretty dry and we also wiped him down as soon as we got indoors.  His teacher brought him a sweater so that was good, hope he does not get sick from it.

Since we had to be inside they took us to a room like a gymnasium where we could be with “H” and many of his friends were there.   And to help began transitioning “H” from his current sign language to the ASL we took some UNO cards so we could work together on numbers and colors.  He really likes the game and so did the rest of the children and the older children caught on to this game very fast and ask us if we would leave the cards for them.  We did and now we are having to try and get more because the girls want a set now.  I have contacted some of the parents in our adoption ministry group and they are bring more cards and card games with them next week.  Kathy and I will type of the instruction and have them translated.  Thank God for such a great group of people and they did not hesitate any.  Each time we visit usually before the visit is over we are surrounded by many children.  And what I am discovering about most is just have very intelligent and fast learners they are.  Wish I could bring them all home but for now just trying to get “H” home safe and sound.

However, if you should feel in your heart this might be something you want to consider please do these children are so eager to be a part of a real family so bad.  Many have begged us to take them too and I wish I could, but since I can’t I can advocate.  Please prayerfully considering opening your heart and doors to some of these older children who many will not consider because of their age.   They are very bright and well-mannered children.

End of week one

Day Six –

WOW what a day, the facilitator told us the Facility Director and Local Social Worker wanted to be sure “H” understood why we were here.  We sat down with “H” and explained to him that we wanted him to come and live with use and be our son.  We showed him pictures of the family and the house and pets and showed him which room and beds were his and some of his things.  Finally the assistant director asked him if he understood that we wanted to be his Momma and Daddy and he looked at both of us and signed to them yes.  And he said he would sign the paper stating that he understood and that he wanted us to be his momma and daddy and as we hugged him he said dada and momma.  I will tell you our cups were overflowing very much so and yes we cried, all of us did even the assistant director and the Social worker.

We had a WONDERFUL time with him yesterday but all too soon we had to leave.  He is already a part of our family in our hearts we just need it finalized legally on paper.  Please continue to pray that all obstacles are removed.

 

Day Seven –

Today when we arrived they had to locate “H” and he found me first and signed to me how happy he was to see me, but when he saw his momma the little fellow ran to her, right into her arms.  OH YEAH She cried!!! We played a few rounds of UNO with him and he seems to really like the game but then it came to the point he REALLY wanted to play with his NABI Pad.  So we gave it to him and I am telling you he is learning how to master is very fast.  He really loves it and almost runs the battery down every day we are there.  I told Kathy we may need to find a battery pack for the flight home. 

Please continue to pray for us, and I do mean PRAY, we don’t want anything to stand in the way of this adoption so we can bring this young lad home and make him a physical part of our family.

Love Rev. Ben and Sis. Kathy Dailey 

Day Five -- A Break through in Communication

Day Five –

We were totally out of our element today because our facilitator had to leave last night and go back to Kiev.  He is to return tomorrow, but he did get with a taxi driver here who we will probably be using every day when our facilitator has to return to Kiev.  But thanks to language translators we have navigated the waters solo today.  I was telling Kathy the other day there is a movie that I really enjoy that has a line in it that states, “Sometimes there is something inside us that sleeps and sometimes the sleeper needs to be awaken.”  I will have to agree with this because we can become so acclimated to our own life and small corner of the world to the point that we begin to overlook the important things around us.  And it is when we step out of our comfort zone our sleeper awakens.

We should remember that we need to be thankful for what we have and not dissatisfied with what we don’t have.  Quite honestly if a huge disaster were to hit this country the people here, especially in the rural villages, are better conditioned of coping than we would be.  They can be self-sufficient if they need to be.  It is not uncommon to see a horse drawn carriage with an older couple on it headed to the village or back home.  Fields are for crops and livestock are tied near the road to graze or they are herded by a shepherd or husbandman.  Every day we have seen people of all ages working in their gardens and I will tell you they are not small gardens either some are quite large.   (Enough of that for today check back each day for more.)

Today we had a fantastic time with “H” we used some UNO cards to learn the difference in his number sign and the ASL number sign.  Also he taught me his numbering signs and I showed him the ASL.  Then we learned each other’s sign for the primary colors and I showed him pictures of the rest of our children and the grandchildren.  We have tried to give each of grandchildren a sign that will be used to distinguish them uniquely.  We have been observing them and have come up with signs that matches a unique characteristic that they have. And we showed those to “H” today and how each person was related in the family.  We learned the sign for each family members such as Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Husband and wife.  And he is beginning to understand, the assistant director has been most helpful and we are so grateful because all of the children just love her and that says something about her.

After our visit concluded today something happened that just filled our hearts with GREAT JOY, today “H” reached up and hugged each of us when it was time to go.  I think he understands why we are here and what our intentions are.  On the walk back to the taxi cab today Kathy just broke into tears of joy because she said “Ben he hugged me back.”  I too felt the same thing.  Maybe we are gradually gaining his trust because we tell him every day we will see him tomorrow and we show up.  That for me is important because if you tell a child something you need to stick to your word and don’t let the child down.

First contact - May 17th, 2013

Day three--
We got some needed rest and at 3:30 we were picked up to go to the DAP to sign our referral papers.  HUGE THING, everything was in order and now were have our referral which gives us permission to go the the facility where "H" is in and meet with him.  Also tell the Director and the Social Worker our intent and giving us permisison to meet with him each day so we can get to know each other.

Day four --
Yesterday we were up at 3:00 AM and left the apartment at 4:00 AM to begin a 5 hour trip to the region and villiage we will be in for the next few weeks.  The village where "H" is located in does not have any facilities where we could lodge so we are having to stay in a village about 18 Kilometers away.  The first few hours of the trip was not bad but when we got off the interstate the roads were very bad, and I am not exaggerating that fact.  When we finally step out of our comfort zone sometimes we have to deal with rough waters. 

After riding for several hours we finally made it to the region "H" is in and we went to the orphanage and finally got to meet the young man we are praying to make a part of our family in a couple of weeks.  The facility he is in specializes in deaf and hard of hearing children and he does have good communication skills already so that is  a HUGE plus.  After a few minutes of getting to know him, I showed him my Android pad and a game I have on it.  BIG HIT!!!! Scored some major points with him and the other children at the facility.  We had decided about a month ago to get him a NABI to bring for him again BIG HIT!!!  He loves it and is really getting into it. 

We were able to see him again today and spent more time with him and many of his friends. I remember the first day I saw him from a distanct, I was not sure it was him but Kathy, you know the momma bear instincts, knew it was him and told me which one it was.  (She was right). :)   I will tell you  he did not have to win our hearts, that happened the night we prayed and made a commitment to do this.  We are learning to communicate with him because the sign language they use is different from ASL (American Sign Language), but we are learning each day.  And we as we spend more time with him we will learn more and more.

One thing we saw that was very interesting yesterday that I will share with you is, on our way back out to the facility there was a funeral going on.  They were walking up the middle of the street holding a cross and flowers.  The women were carrying the lid of the coffin, covered in very colorful clothe and made of wood.  The deceased was the back of a flat bed truck opened with a very thin cloth laid over him.  This was a very touching moment to see the love and respect they have for the deceased. 

Also yesterday there was a wedding in the villiage and last night they really had a huge party in the cafeteria here at the hotel we are in and I do mean a party with LOUD music and everything.  Today they met again to continue the celebration of the marriage.  Our facilitator who is with us told us this was the custom that the wedding celebration was not one day but two days.

DAP Appointment Day - Day 2.

As promised, I am beginning my blog on day two.  We arrived yesterday around 4:30 EEST after about 14 hours of flying. One thing I can tell you is that each of our flights were on time and we actually took an electic cart to make it to the gate at Chicago and then in Munich we just had to walk fast but we made that flight as well and here we are. 

Today we had our appointment with the Department of Adoptions and Processing and two of the other families that are also adopting through the same program we are.  Everything went well and we will be traveling to the region where "H" is in to meet with the Social Worker, Orphanage Director and Doctor on Friday.  We also learned the orphange he is in specializes in deaf children so this is a HUGE positive because we know he has some communications skills.  We are so very eager to meet him.  I wish it were tomorrow.

But also as amazing as God is,  many might say things were a coincidence, it is not to him.  Yesterday on our flight we happened to be seated with a young woman who was going home after spending time with her family in the States. Her husband is a Youth Minstry teacher at the Evangelical Seminary here and has many contact thoughout the country.  We will be getting with them to let them know of our location so if there is a church in that village they will be able to tell us a church in the area and a contact so we can at least attend services.  May not understand what they are saying, but Amazing Grace is Still Amazing in any language.

There is a lot of very old, and beautiful buildings, in the area and today after our appointment and while waiting on the others I just started snapping pictures.  Here is one of my favorite it is of the St. Andrews church.  Look at all of the steps leading up to this church.  I told Kathy if we had that many steps that half of our congregation would not be able to climb them. 

 
We were able to get a good night of sleep and rest last night and today when we got back we both took naps.  Still trying to get out bodies back on track.  Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers and that God would continue to watch over us and open the necessary doors and hearts. 

May the Grace and Sprit of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit be with you and keep you.

Rev Ben D. & Kathy J. Dailey

The Travel To Eastern Europe Begins!!!!

April 15^th we received the long awaited call with our travel date.  After what seemed to be a very lengthy process, a huge amount of paper work for both the Home Study Agency and our Dossier  we will be traveling on Monday May 13^th to Eastern Europe.  We would first like to say how much we appreciate the support and prayers from everyone.   Also we will be blogging as much during this trip as possible but we will not be able to reveal out current location until after the adoption is finalized through the court system. 

We will try to include pictures and our progress each day and we ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers as we realize we are at the mercy of the Eastern European Country’s Court and laws.  God has brought us this far and I know He will still pave the way for us but we still cherish your prayers.  So please stay tuned in the days and weeks ahead as we being the this part of the Journey.

Sincerely Rev. Ben & Kathy Dailey